Prairie Depot Press

MVW matches

2011-05-11T19:29:00.000-07:00

MVW on ESPNU

2011-04-03T17:39:00.000-07:00

PCW Weapons of Mass Political Destruction Highlights

2011-03-26T16:28:00.000-07:00

MVWA 51 Highlights

2011-03-20T09:49:00.000-07:00

MVWA 50 Pictures

2011-03-06T19:28:00.000-08:00

MVWA 49 Highlights

2011-02-20T19:31:00.000-08:00

Missouri Valley Wrestling Winter Wonderland

2011-02-06T17:56:00.000-08:00

1/24 PCW Match Highlights

2011-01-24T17:35:00.000-08:00

Map

2011-01-19T19:15:00.001-08:00

1/17 PCW Tag Team Match: Blackwell/Escondido (R) vs. Triple R/Stone Chism (D)

2011-01-17T19:35:00.000-08:00

Scenes from 1/16 MVW show

2011-01-16T21:45:00.000-08:00

PCW Jersey

2011-01-15T07:10:00.000-08:00

Valora

2010-06-26T20:58:00.000-07:00

Easton West

2010-04-18T18:36:00.001-07:00

Russian Roulette

2010-04-15T12:18:00.001-07:00

Harley Davisson

2010-04-10T22:34:00.001-07:00

MVW Banner

2010-04-08T15:46:00.000-07:00

Sarah

2010-02-16T15:34:00.001-08:00

Beastie Boys vs. Led Zeppelin

2010-02-12T19:27:00.000-08:00

Pants on the Ground

2010-02-06T07:10:00.000-08:00

Fast Times

2010-01-30T09:00:00.000-08:00

Lawman

2010-01-30T08:25:00.000-08:00

Valley 88

2009-12-14T20:17:00.001-08:00

Christmas Pinup- Tessa Martin

2009-12-10T17:54:00.000-08:00

Charlie Blackwell

2009-12-09T20:21:00.001-08:00

Kenzie Blair- valet of Charlie Blackwell

2009-12-09T20:19:00.000-08:00

2009-10-17T15:13:00.001-07:00

Generalissmo Tomas

2009-09-07T20:06:00.000-07:00

Brooke Evans

2009-08-16T19:24:00.001-07:00

VIP

2009-08-16T18:13:00.000-07:00

Lingerie Girl Brandi Bayless

2009-08-16T04:33:00.000-07:00

Miss USA- smaller pix

2009-08-15T12:46:00.000-07:00

Miss USA

2009-08-10T11:37:00.000-07:00

Rock and Roll Chick Shanna Barrett

2009-08-09T16:16:00.000-07:00

Trailer Park Skater Girl Tanya Hardy

2009-08-07T17:17:00.000-07:00

2009-07-20T16:30:00.000-07:00

Missouri Valley Logo

2009-07-08T22:24:00.001-07:00

Penrod's Editorial Political Demotivator of the Day

2009-05-16T10:31:00.000-07:00

Penrod's Editorial Political Demotivater of the Day

2009-05-16T10:24:00.000-07:00

Something you don't see everyday...

2009-03-29T05:15:00.001-07:00

Insert your own caption...

Another Pinup of Exploding Sheep Productions Lead Writer Andrea Doria

2009-02-26T21:00:00.000-08:00

Exploding Sheep Productions Chief Writer Andrea Doria
Artwork by Art Neuveaux

New pinup of Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin

2009-02-26T20:20:00.000-08:00

Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin

Artwork by Art Neuveaux

Pinup: Jazz Singer Diana Krall

2009-02-19T15:33:00.000-08:00

All we've got to say is that Elvis Costello is one lucky man. Cheers!

Pinup: Erin Esurance

2009-02-06T11:38:00.001-08:00

Everyone's favorite insurance cartoon- Erin Esurance

The Sex Police Meet The Secret Life of the American Teenager

2009-02-06T06:58:00.000-08:00

Scene: Adrian’s Mother’s house. Mom, as always, is away working as a flight attendent. Adrian is throwing a huge party.

Ben and Amy sit together. Amy is several months pregnant now. Ben dotes on her incessantly. Amy’s friends Madison and Lauren hover over her as well. Ben, Madison, and Lauren drink beer. Amy has water.

Grace is also at the party. She’s in the corner talking with Ricky.

Adrian talks briefly with Jack and then sneaks upstairs. Ricky and Adrian’s eyes meet. She smiles and goes on up.

Ben: Amy, can I get you anything? A warm compress for your back? Another pillow? Something softer to sit on?

Amy: Ben for the last time, I’m fine. I’m just feeling fat and bloated.

Madison: YOU’RE FEELING FAT AND BLOATED?

Everyone stops and turns towards Madison.

Madison: Uh…sorry.

Amy: You guys couldn’t keep a secret if your life depended on it.

Lauren: We could too.

Amy: Oh, yeah?

Madison: Yeah. Just try us.

Amy: Okay. (she whispers in Madison’s ear)

Madison nods. Then she leans over and whispers in Lauren’s ear.

Lauren: Huh?

Madison whispers the secret again.

Lauren: Huh?

Madison whispers it again, this time with more emphasis.

Lauren: AMY LIKES IT ON TOP WITH OLDER OUTDOOR COFFEE VENDORS?

Amy: See?

—-

Grace: So. I suppose you don’t want to go to church with me?

Ricky: Honey, there’s a lot of places I want to go with you- church isn’t one of them.

Grace: Ricky, not until I’m married!

Ricky: (mutters) That’s why I’m going upstairs to boink Adrian for the hundredth time.

Grace: What was that?

Ricky: Nothing. Look, I’ll be back in a few…minutes…or so.

Ricky goes to the kitchen. Grace joins the conversation with Ben, Amy, Madison, and Lauren. When the coast was clear, Ricky sneaks back in and up the stairs.

He goes into Adrian’s bedroom. She’s in bed waiting.

Adrian: Took you long enough.

Ricky: I had to get away from Grace.

Ricky starts undressing.

Adrian: Whatever. Hurry up lover boy.

Ricky: I’m hurrying…I’m-

Adrian screams as two figures smash through the window.

Male voice: STOP THAT! STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!

Ricky: WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?

Male voice: WE ARE…

*pause for dramatic sound effect*

Male voice: I’m Officer Bolin T. Jack and that’s Captain Chastity. We’re here to stop this illicit sexual encounter from taking place.

Capt. Chastity: That’s right. When lust, lasciviousness, and sexual desire rears its ugly head, when dirty, depraved, disgusting, back alley, back seat animalistic lunges in the night takes place, you can be sure that…THE SEX POLICE!…

*pause for dramatic sound effect*

…will be there to put a halt to such craven imprurience and libidinous behavior.

Adrian: Go away! There’s nothing wrong with what we’re doing.

Off. Jack: Capt. Chastity. I’m afraid we’re going to need to use- the HORMONE DEBILITATOR GAS!

*pause for dramatic sound effect*

Ricky: Hormone debilitator gas! That’s it. I’m outta here-

Officer Jack shoots the gas at Ricky. The gas engulfs him.

Ricky: Oh? What am I doing? I’m too young to be doing this? I’m sorry, Adrian. I have to go.

Ricky leaves.

Adrian: NOOOOOOOO!

Off. Jack shoots the gas at Adrian.

Adrian: NOOooooo……hey! What’s a boy doing in my room? I’m too young. (she hears the loud music going on downstairs) Oh no. A party? At my mom’s house?

Adrian jumps from her bed and leaves.

Then she comes back when she realizes that all she has on is a bra and panties. She throws a sweatshirt and jeans on and then runs downstairs.

Adrian: OKAY! OKAY! PARTY’S OVER!

The music stops. Everyone looks at Adrian as if she’s crazy.

Adrian: YOU HEARD ME! I’M NOT OLD ENOUGH TO HOLD BEER PARTIES. I’M DEFINITELY NOT OLD ENOUGH TO BE HAVING SEX WITH RICKY!

Grace gasps.

Adrian: THAT’S IT. EVERYONE NEEDS TO LEAVE! LET’S GO.

Off. Jack and Captain Chastity watch from upstairs.

Capt. Chastity: Another job well done, Officer Jack.

Off. Jack: That’s right. When lust, lasciviousness, and sexual desire rears its ugly head, when dirty, depraved, disgusting, back alley, back seat animalistic lunges in the night takes place, you can be sure that…THE SEX POLICE!…

*Pause for dramatic sound effect*

…will be there.

1/22-Buckland County: Coverage of All 11 Balls by the Washington Post

2009-01-22T13:28:00.000-08:00

Parties in Power- Manuel Roig-Franzia

At the Eastern Ball, the president asked his date-for-life for one a twirl. They both looked like it had been a long day, which, of course, it had. He appeared to nuzzle her neck; she smiled. He put his hands around her waist and pulled her in. He kissed her on the cheek.

*
Finally, it was off to the American Heartland Party’s Ball. There was some controversy earlier in the evening over a few A-List actors and actresses who were furious because they were denied entry into the Heartland Ball. They did not gain entrance but lot of ordinary people who’d never get into an A-List party did.

*
The music of Karayna McAlister backed up by the Black Swamp Pirates turned the ‘Ball’ into a honky tonk hoe-down. Special guest Alaska Governor Sarah Palin showed up about 10 PM and joined the festivities amidst the rumors that she was going to official change parties this week. Mallory Ramsey-Blanton, the American Heartland Party’s candidate for the US Senate in 2010, came with her husband and partied the night away.

*
McAlister had just finished up a Robyn Ludwick song called ‘Sweet Marie’ when President and Mrs. Obama walked in.

*
With Senator McCain, who had just arrived a few minutes sooner at the invitation of Senator Lieberman and Senator Cantrell, and Senator Whitberry on hand, this was the only ball that featured all three presidential candidates. This was also the only ball where jeans and a good shirt was all that was necessary to wear.

*
Before Obama began to speak, he called both McCain and Whitberry up to join him on the stage.
Obama’s remarks: “I want to thank Will Beckworth and Senator DeWayne Cantrell for inviting Michelle and I to this ball. Um, I have to admit that I feel a little overdressed here…

(pause for laughter)

…you’re not going to make us square dance I hope…(pause for more laughter). Seriously, thank you for the invitation. It is an honor to be here and it is truly an honor to be here with two honorable opponents in John McCain and Ken Whitberry.

*
I am proud to say that the 2008 Presidential campaign was in many ways the most fulfilling campaign I’ve ever participated in. I will always treasure the two weeks that we spent together traveling from town to town doing town hall meetings all over this great country of ours. I will always appreciate the fact that our campaigns tried to appeal to the best nature of the American people. Ken, you and Will and DeWayne deserve a lot of credit for the campaign you ran. It is safe to say that the American Heartland Party is going to be around for a long time to come.
*

(pause for standing ovation)
*

I am looking forward to continuing the work that you all have started. Thanks for having me."
*

Karayna and the Pirates then played a country version of the classic Beach Boy song ‘God Only Knows’ for the Obama’s dance. Then the President waved to the crowd, and they were gone, back home to their new neighborhood.

*
———————–

*
SCENE: The stage

*
Will and DeWayne watch as the President and his wife departs.
*

Will: DeWayne.
*

DeWayne: Yes.
*

Will: I think we’ve made it.

*
THE END

1/22- Buckland County: Obama's Inauguration Speech

2009-01-22T13:23:00.000-08:00

SCENE: January 20th- The Inauguration.

*
DeWayne Cantrell, Karayna McAlister-Cantrell and DeWayne’s daughters Jamie Sue and Jenna Lee sit with the Congressional Delegation behind President Obama.

*
Will and Charlene Ann Beckworth sit with Dennis Storm, her mother Tamara Barnes, and other high ranking Republican and Democratic party leaders.

*
The people back at Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon, setting up for the evening’s Political Championship Wrestling event, cheer everytime DeWayne or Will show up on camera.

*
President Obama is ready to give his inaugural address.

*
Obama: My fellow citizens:

*
I stand here today humbled by the task before us, grateful for the trust you have bestowed, mindful of the sacrifices borne by our ancestors. I thank President Bush for his service to our nation, as well as the generosity and cooperation he has shown throughout this transition.

*
Forty-four Americans have now taken the presidential oath. The words have been spoken during rising tides of prosperity and the still waters of peace. Yet, every so often the oath is taken amidst gathering clouds and raging storms. At these moments, America has carried on not simply because of the skill or vision of those in high office, but because We the People have remained faithful to the ideals of our forbearers, and true to our founding documents.

*
So it has been. So it must be with this generation of Americans. Two years ago, our nation was at war, against a far-reaching network of violence and hatred. Our economy was badly weakened, a consequence of greed and irresponsibility on the part of some, but also our collective failure to make hard choices and prepare the nation for a new age. Homes were lost; jobs were shed; businesses were shuttered. Our health care was too costly; our schools failed too many; and each day brought further evidence that the ways we use energy strengthened our adversaries and threatened our planet.

*
There were the indicators of crisis, subject to data and statistics. Less measurable but no less profound was the sapping of confidence across our land - a nagging fear that America’s decline was inevitable, and that the next generation must lower its sights.

*
Then two years ago after the mid-term elections, something remarkable took place. With the balance of power in doubt in both Houses of Congress, Senator-elect DeWayne Cantrell of Ohio, Senator Ken Whitberry of New Mexico of the American Heartland Party, and Independent Joe Lieberman of Connecticut sat down with incoming Democratic Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, incoming House Majority Leader Steny Hoyer, and incoming Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid from and incoming Republican House Minority Leader John Boehner and incoming Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell of Kentucky and produced a landmark power sharing arrangement that led to sweeping political reforms and put ordinary Americans first in their government instead of special interest groups.

*
As a result of this arrangement, something even more remarkable took place, Congress worked in concert with President George W. Bush to do something that the cynics, naysayers, and hardcore partisans from all sides said couldn’t be done- they brought back accountability to the government, restored confidence in the political process, and most importantly made the hard choices needed to move the country forward.

*
Senator Cantrell said it best: “It’s amazing what happens when Congress, despite our diverse views on many issues, comes together to right the wrongs in our country and serve our constituents by putting them first instead of special interest groups.”

*
Working together, in the last two years Congress has passed landmark, common sense immigration reform legislation which strengthened our borders and offered a realistic plan to deal with the millions of illegal aliens in our country.

*
Working together, Congress enacted a common sense tort reform package that reduced the glut of frivolous lawsuits that clog our judicial system and help businesses, particularly small business, bring down their cost while protecting the right of individuals to redress wrongs in the judicial system.

*
Working together, Congress passed legislation that reformed our health care system, made health insurance more affordable for all and helped businesses keep their costs down. Malpractice insurance reform brought down the cost of insurance for doctors.

*
Working together, Congress also passed a second campaign finance reform bill to reduce the power of big money special interests while giving a voice and more power back to ordinary Americans.

*
Working together, Congress and President Bush came to an agreeent on a pathway to begin to bring our troops home from Iraq while at the same time reforming the way we conduct our foreign spending to make sure that the United States isn’t just throwing money away.

*
Working together, Congress reworked the Patriot Act to insure the safety of Americans without compromising our principles of freedom or the Constitution.

*
Working together, Congress and the president worked through a myriad of issues to come up with a bill that reformed the way earmarks are brought up to committee and insure more transparency in the process. As a result of this landmark and important legislation, the federal deficit was cut in half in 2007 and went down an additional 25% in 2008.

*
Because Congress and President Bush came together and put the common good ahead of political considerations, we have averted a possible meltdown in the mortgage industry.

*
Because Congress and President Bush came together, we were able to stop a possible auto industry crisis before it even began. By bringing big labor and the auto industry together, we were able to hammer out a sensible, common sense arrangement that greatly reduces the cost of doing business while protecting the good paying American jobs from being lost.

*
Because Congress and President Bush came together, we caught a potentially serious problem with the way Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac operates and fixed it before any serious damage was done.

*
Because Congress and President Bush came together, we averted a massive banking crisis that may have required the United States to put billions upon billions of dollars into the solution to keep our economic system solvent.

*
Because Congress and President Bush came together two years ago, we are much better off as a nation. We are much stronger as a whole. We are not as divided as we were. For that, I believe the country owes a debt of gratitude to not only President Bush, but Speaker Pelosi, House Majority Leader Hoyer, House Minority Leader Boehner, Senate Majority Leader Reid, Senate Minority Leader McConnel, Senator Cantrell, Senator Lieberman, and Senator Whitberry. Please come up here and accept a nation’s thanks for the good work you have done.

*
(pause for extended applause)

*
Today I say to you that the challenges we continue to face are real. They are serious and they are many. They will not be met easily or in a short span of time. But we know this, America, for what we have accomplished the past two years - they will be met.

*
We remain a young nation, but the time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free, and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness.

*
In reaffirming the greatness of our nation, we understand that greatness is never a given. It must be earned. Our journey has never been one of short-cuts or settling for less. It has not been the path for the faint-hearted - for those who prefer leisure over work, or seek only the pleasures of riches and fame. Rather, it has been the risk-takers, the doers, the makers of things - some celebrated but more often men and women obscure in their labor, who have carried us up the long, rugged path towards prosperity and freedom.

*
For us, they packed up their few worldly possessions and traveled across oceans in search of a new life.

*
For us, they toiled in sweatshops and settled the West; endured the lash of the whip and plowed the hard earth.

*
For us, they fought and died, in places like Concord and Gettysburg; Normandy and Khe Sahn.
Time and again these men and women struggled and sacrificed and worked till their hands were raw so that we might live a better life. They saw America as bigger than the sum of our individual ambitions; greater than all the differences of birth or wealth or faction.

*
This is the journey we continue today. We remain the most prosperous, powerful nation on Earth. Our workers are no less productive, our minds are no less inventive, our goods and services no less needed than they were last week or last month or last year. Our capacity remains undiminished. We have accomplished much in the past two years. Starting today, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and continue the work of remaking America.
For everywhere we look, there is still work to be done. The state of the economy is greatly improved but it still calls for action, bold and swift, and we will act - not only to create new jobs, but to lay a new foundation for growth. We will build the roads and bridges, the electric grids and digital lines that feed our commerce and bind us together. We will restore science to its rightful place, and wield technology’s wonders to raise health care’s quality and lower its cost. We will harness the sun and the winds and the soil to fuel our cars and run our factories. And we will transform our schools and colleges and universities to meet the demands of a new age. All this we can do. And all this we will do.

*
Now, there are some who question the scale of our ambitions - who suggest that our system cannot tolerate too many big plans. Their memories are short. For they have forgotten what this country has already done; what free men and women can achieve when imagination is joined to common purpose, and necessity to courage.

*
What the cynics fail to understand is that the ground has shifted beneath them - that the stale political arguments that consumed us for so long no longer apply. The question we ask today is not whether our government is too big or too small, but whether it works - whether it helps families find jobs at a decent wage, care they can afford, a retirement that is dignified. Where the answer is yes, we intend to move forward. Where the answer is no, programs will end. And those of us who manage the public’s dollars will be held to account - to spend wisely, reform bad habits, and do our business in the light of day - because only then can we continue to restore the vital trust between a people and their government.

*
Nor is the question before us whether the market is a force for good or ill. Its power to generate wealth and expand freedom is unmatched, but without a watchful eye, the market can spin out of control - and a nation cannot prosper long when it favors only the prosperous. The success of our economy has always depended not just on the size of our Gross Domestic Product, but on the reach of our prosperity; on our ability to extend opportunity to every willing heart - not out of charity, but because it is the surest route to our common good.

*
As for our common defense, we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals. Our Founding Fathers, faced with perils we can scarcely imagine, drafted a charter to assure the rule of law and the rights of man, a charter expanded by the blood of generations. Those ideals still light the world, and we will not give them up for expedience’s sake. And so to all other peoples and governments who are watching today, from the grandest capitals to the small village where my father was born: know that America is a friend of each nation and every man, woman, and child who seeks a future of peace and dignity, and that we are ready to lead once more.

*
Recall that earlier generations faced down fascism and communism not just with missiles and tanks, but with sturdy alliances and enduring convictions. They understood that our power alone cannot protect us, nor does it entitle us to do as we please. Instead, they knew that our power grows through its prudent use; our security emanates from the justness of our cause, the force of our example, the tempering qualities of humility and restraint.

*
We are the keepers of this legacy. Guided by these principles once more, we can meet those new threats that demand even greater effort - even greater cooperation and understanding between nations. We will begin to responsibly leave Iraq to its people, and forge a hard-earned peace in Afghanistan. With old friends and former foes, we will work tirelessly to lessen the nuclear threat, and roll back the specter of a warming planet. We will not apologize for our way of life, nor will we waver in its defense, and for those who seek to advance their aims by inducing terror and slaughtering innocents, we say to you now that our spirit is stronger and cannot be broken; you cannot outlast us, and we will defeat you.

*
For we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness. We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus - and non-believers. We are shaped by every language and culture, drawn from every end of this Earth; and because we have tasted the bitter swill of civil war and segregation, and emerged from that dark chapter stronger and more united, we cannot help but believe that the old hatreds shall someday pass; that the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve; that as the world grows smaller, our common humanity shall reveal itself; and that America must play its role in ushering in a new era of peace.

*
To the Muslim world, we seek a new way forward, based on mutual interest and mutual respect. To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict, or blame their society’s ills on the West - know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy. To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history; but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist.

*
To the people of poor nations, we pledge to work alongside you to make your farms flourish and let clean waters flow; to nourish starved bodies and feed hungry minds. And to those nations like ours that enjoy relative plenty, we say we can no longer afford indifference to suffering outside our borders; nor can we consume the world’s resources without regard to effect. For the world has changed, and we must change with it.

*
As we consider the road that unfolds before us, we remember with humble gratitude those brave Americans who still, at this very hour, patrol far-off deserts and distant mountains. They have something to tell us today, just as the fallen heroes who lie in Arlington whisper through the ages. We honor them not only because they are guardians of our liberty, but because they embody the spirit of service; a willingness to find meaning in something greater than themselves. And yet, at this moment - a moment that will define a generation - it is precisely this spirit that must inhabit us all.

*
For as much as government can do and must do, it is ultimately the faith and determination of the American people upon which this nation relies. It is the kindness to take in a stranger when the levees break, the selflessness of workers who would rather cut their hours than see a friend lose their job which sees us through our darkest hours. It is the firefighter’s courage to storm a stairway filled with smoke, but also a parent’s willingness to nurture a child, that finally decides our fate.

*
Our challenges may be new. The instruments with which we meet them may be new. But those values upon which our success depends - hard work and honesty, courage and fair play, tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism - these things are old. These things are true. They have been the quiet force of progress throughout our history. What is demanded then is a return to these truths. What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility - a recognition, on the part of every American, that we have duties to ourselves, our nation, and the world, duties that we do not grudgingly accept but rather seize gladly, firm in the knowledge that there is nothing so satisfying to the spirit, so defining of our character, than giving our all to a difficult task.
This is the price and the promise of citizenship.

*
This is the source of our confidence - the knowledge that God calls on us to shape an uncertain destiny.

*
This is the meaning of our liberty and our creed - why men and women and children of every race and every faith can join in celebration across this magnificent mall, and why a man whose father less than sixty years ago might not have been served at a local restaurant can now stand before you to take a most sacred oath.

*
So let us mark this day with remembrance, of who we are and how far we have traveled. In the year of America’s birth, in the coldest of months, a small band of patriots huddled by dying campfires on the shores of an icy river. The capital was abandoned. The enemy was advancing. The snow was stained with blood. At a moment when the outcome of our revolution was most in doubt, the father of our nation ordered these words be read to the people:

*
“Let it be told to the future world…that in the depth of winter, when nothing but hope and virtue could survive…that the city and the country, alarmed at one common danger, came forth to meet [it].”

*
America. In the face of our common dangers, let us remember these timeless words. With hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents, and endure what storms may come. Let it be said by our children’s children that when we were tested we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God’s grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations.

*
Thank you.

*
God bless you. And God bless the United States of America.

1/20- Buckland County: Inauguration Day

2009-01-22T13:20:00.000-08:00

SCENE: Will and Charlene Ann Beckworth’s Washington D.C. Hotel Room

Charlene Ann primps her hair at the mirror. She straightens up her dress and adjusts her feet inside her heel shoes.

*
Will comes out of the bathroom.

*
Will: You look wonderful, Sweetheart.
*

Charlene Ann: Thanks.
*

There’s a knock on the door.
*

Charlene Ann: That’s probably Dad and Karayna.
*

Will goes to the door and opens it. It’s DeWayne Cantrell and Karayna McAlister-Cantrell with

Jamie Sue, age 14, and Jenna Lee Cantrell, age 10.
*

Will: Mornin’ DeWayne.
*

DeWayne grumbles and enters the room.
*

Karayna: He’s still not awake this morning.
*

Jamie Sue: Hey Charlene Ann.
*

Charlene Ann: Good morning, Jamie Sue.
*

Jenna Lee runs to her and gives her a big hug.
*

Jenna Lee: I miss you.
*

Charlene Ann: I miss you too. Have you been good for Daddy?
*

Jenna Lee: Yes.
*

Charlene Ann: Really?
*

Jenna Lee: Well……for the most part.
*

Charlene Ann: That’s what I thought.
*

Will: Well, are we ready?
*

DeWayne: Yep. Tamara and everyone else is downstairs.
*

Will: Okay then. Let’s go watch history being made.

1/19-Buckland County: Obama Meets with American Heartlanders, Blue Dogs and American Heartland Party Have Their Day, American Heartland Party Ball

2009-01-18T20:22:00.000-08:00

OBAMA MAKES SURPRISE VISIT TO WESTVILLE - Tessa Rogers/Buckland County Gazette

On Friday, January 16th, Barack Obama took a few hours out of his trip to Bedford Heights, Ohio to meet with the American Heartland Party at Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon in Westville. The President-elect managed to slip in and out of town without much fanfare according to Mayor Mallory Ramsey-Blanton.

*
American Heartland Party Chairman Will Beckworth and Senator DeWayne Cantrell took a red eye flight back from Juneau, Alaska Thursday night to make the meet with Obama. All five American Heartland senators and forty-seven House members were in attendance to hear from the incoming president.

*
President-elect Obama pledged to continue the momentum of tri-partisanship that blossomed in 2006. “Congress accomplished many, many good things over the past two years,” Obama said, “I promise that I will work with you and make the American people the first priority.”

*
Senator Cantrell reported that the meeting went very well and that the American Heartland caucus was very pleased with the tone and tenor of the meeting.

*
Beckworth and Senator Cantrell declined comment when they were asked about their meeting with Governor Palin in Alaska. However, a source reports that Palin cleared her schedule and met with Senator Cantrell for several hours on Wednesday.

*
Another report indicates that what may have been the final straw for Governor Palin was her non-invitation to Republican running mate John McCain’s dinner with Barack Obama last week.

*
—————-
THE BLUE DOGS AND AMERICAN HEARTLAND PARTY HAVE THEIR DAY - Colin Levy, Wall Street Journal

“Barack totally gets it . . . He is smarter than Bill Clinton and disciplined.” So says Tennessee Democratic Congressman Jim Cooper on the Thursday before Mr. Obama’s inauguration.

*
“Barack has promised to incorporate us into the legislative process,” Texas Congresswoman Mandy Thompson said Friday after Obama met with the American Heartland Party in Westville, Ohio.

*
Sitting in his office a stone’s throw from where the festivities will take place, I ask Congressman Cooper about his role in the big transformation coming to Washington. He’s one of the leaders of a gang of moderate Democrats called the Blue Dogs. They’re meeting their first Democratic president in a while, and Mr. Cooper may have a big effect on the agenda. He smiles gently and says, “When we ally with the American Heartland Party, we can swing any vote in the House of Representatives.”

*
in the last election, the Blue Dogs have grown to 51 in number from 46, with more applications pending. “For a long time we had to limit our numbers because we actually need to be able to fit in one room,” he tells me. “So it’s been an increasingly popular, and I think influential, group.”
*

In 2006, the American Heartland Party started with 18 House members who switched from the Democrats and Republicans. In 2008, the Heartlanders picked up 29 more seats in the House and won stunning upsets in Minnesota and New Hampshire to pick up 2 more Senate seats.

*
Indeed, the way the Blue Dogs and American Heartland Party flex their muscle may become one of the defining issues of the Obama administration’s opening months. If they are inclined to wrangle with Nancy Pelosi and the more liberal contingent in the Democratic Party, they will drive policy, especially as a check on spending. “Ideally the White House will see things our way, so they will present legislation on the Hill that we find acceptable,” Mr. Cooper says. “If they stray too much from that or if a certain part of Congress strays too much from that, then we will object,” Ms. Thompson adds.

*
So far, however, the Blue Dogs seem to believe that Barack Obama is one of them, a fiscal reformer, and their last best hope for true change on entitlement spending and economic responsibility. The American Heartlanders are taking a wait and see stance.

*
Mr. Obama has announced he will convene a fiscal responsibility summit in February to bring together Blue Dogs, the American Heartlanders, and other folks to discuss the long-term problems of the economy, including entitlement spending. “We’ve kicked this can down the road and now we are at the end of the road,” the president-elect told the Washington Post this week.

-----------------

SENATOR CANTRELL ANNOUNCES AMERICAN HEARTLAND PARTY INAUGURAL BALL - Tessa Rogers/Buckland County Gazette
Senator DeWayne Cantrell (AH-OH) announced in a press release today that the American Heartland Party has rented a large ballroom and will hold their Inaugural Ball Tuesday night. The Ball is free and will be open to anyone and everyone. The Black Swamp Pirates will be the house band for the evening and Canadian Songbird and Country Music Supermegastar Karayna McAlister will perform.

*
Cantrell explained that the reason for the ball was to given ordinary people a chance to attend a presidential type event but didn't have the money or the connections to attend the more high profile parties. He also used the occasion to protest the selling of 'exclusive broadcast rights to inaugural events' by the Obama Administration. "Our event will be free to the general public and we invite any and all news organizations to come in and cover the event," Cantrell said. "We don't sell our events to the highest bidder."

------------------------

Buckland County.com
Political Championship Wrestling at Blogspot
Political Championship Wrestling at Wordpress

Exploding Sheep Productions
American Heartland Bar and Grill
Screw the BCS at Blogspot

Pinup: Exploding Sheep Production's Lead Writer Andrea Doria

2009-01-18T20:09:00.001-08:00

Andrea Doria

Artwork by 'The One and Only' Alejendro Del Nombre

1/13-Buckland County: Mallory Ramsey-Blanton Declares for U.S. Senate/Palin On Verge of Switching Parties

2009-01-14T14:10:00.000-08:00

WESTVILLE MAYOR TO RUN FOR U.S. SENATE by Tessa Rogers, Buckland County Gazette

Earlier today, Westville Mayor Mallory Ramsey-Blanton announced her intention to run for Retiring Ohio Senator George Voinovich's U.S. Senate seat in 2010.

Speaking at a press conference at Hack's Rusty Nail Saloon, Blanton, flanked by American Heartland Party Chairman Will Beckworth, Senator DeWayne Cantrell, American Heartland Party operatives Dennis Storm and Tamara Barnes, and her husband B.J., vowed to run the same grass roots, to the people campaign that Cantrell ran in 2006 when he upset incumbent Senator David Hutchinson and Democratic challenger Sherrod Brown.

Blanton is a two time mayor of Westville who joined the American Heartland Party two years ago. She's been long rumored to be considering making a Senate run for quite some time.
"Yes, I've thought about doing this for a quite a long while," admitted Ms. Blanton. "With Senator Voinovich's impending retirement, this seemed like the perfect time to try."

Blanton is the first candidate to formally throw her hat in the ring. Other possible candidates for the Senate seat include Republicans Rob Portman, Former Senator David Hutchinson, Ken Blackwell, and John Kasich. Democrats thought to be considering the race: Reps. Tim Ryan, Zack Space, and Betty Sutton, Ohio Lt. Gov. Lee Fisher, and Secretary of State Jennifer Brunner.

-------------------

Voinovich Retirement Sets Up Tough Primaries- Reid Wilson/TheHill Politics.com

Sen. George Voinovich (R-Ohio) announced his retirement Monday, giving both the Democrats and the fledging American Heartland Party an opportunity to pick up another Senate seat in 2010 and setting up the prospect of competitive primaries for the Republican and Democrats.

"After prayerful consideration and much thought, my wife Janet and I have decided that I will not seek a third term in the United States Senate," Voinovich said in a statement.

"I have never seen the country in such perilous circumstances. Not since the Great Depression and the Second World War have we been confronted with such challenges, as a nation and as a world," Voinovich said. "I must devote my full time, energy and focus to the job I was elected to do, the job in front of me, which seeking a third term – with the money-raising and campaigning that it would require – would not allow me to do."

Voinovich, the 72-year old former Cleveland mayor and two-term Ohio governor, has been a largely centrist voice in the Republican conference during his two terms in the Senate.
His retirement creates the prospect of a competitive primary on both the Republican and Democratic sides, something both parties are already maneuvering to prevent. Especially since the American Heartland Party has already coalesced around unknown small town mayor Mallory Ramsey-Blanton as their candidate in 2010.

"Mallory may be an unknown quantity right now," said American Heartland Party Chairman Will Beckworth, "but once the voters get to know her and hear her talk, I think they'll respond very favorably to her. Mallory's the real deal."

Reps. Tim Ryan (D), Zack Space (D) and Betty Sutton (D) are mentioned as potential Democratic challengers, and the party may look to Lt. Gov. Lee Fisher (D) and Secretary of State Jennifer Brunner (D) to run.
*
Many Republicans expect ex-Rep. Rob Portman (R) to make a return bid for public office. Appointed President Bush's director of the Office of Management and Budget and U.S. Trade Representative, Portman has been laying the groundwork for a run already. A top GOP source says Portman has signed up businessman Mercer Reynolds, who served as Bush's national finance chairman in 2004, to head Portman's own fundraising committee.

*
Some expect former Secretary of State Ken Blackwell (R) to consider a bid for Senate four years after his run for governor came up short. Blackwell, currently a top candidate to chair the Republican National Committee, is focused only on that race, according to a source close to Blackwell.

Party sources say the GOP would much rather have Portman atop the ticket than Blackwell.
"If Portman gets in, one would hope Blackwell does the right thing for the party he's looking to lead now, and help Republicans avoid a divisive primary in a swing state," a top GOP aide said.
Ex-Rep. John Kasich (R) is also mentioned as a potential candidate, though Republican sources say Kasich is more interested in a bid for governor in 2010 instead of a run for Senate.

Voinovich's departure opens the fourth Republican-held Senate seat up for election in the 2010 cycle. Voinovich joins Sens. Mel Martinez (R-Fla.), Sam Brownback (R-Kan.) and Kit Bond (R-Mo.) as lame ducks. The American Heartland Party and Democrats have both voiced optimism about competing seriously in all four open seats.

"You know Republicans are in trouble when respected senators like Voinovich are retiring while people like [Sen. David] Vitter (R-La.) are running again," Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee spokesman Matt Miller said.

Miller also previewed a line of attack against Portman, should he enter the race.

"It's also jaw-dropping that Republicans would seem to turn to a Washington insider like Rob Portman, whose sole legacy is helping George Bush run up trillion dollar deficits," Miller said.

Miller also added, "The American Heartland Party is running a small town mayor with less experience than Sarah Palin- and we all know how that worked out during the 2008 election."

Speaking of the Governor of Alaska, the other big news from Ohio is Beckworth traveling again to Juneau to confer with Governor Palin. Rumors are flying all over Washington D.C. that Palin was so impressed with Beckworth's political acumen and small town sensibility that she is now very seriously considering joining the American Heartland Party.

An anonymous source said this: "Governor Palin feels that in one two-hour meeting with Will Beckworth that she received more positive and constructive political advice from him than she did in three and a half months running for Vice President with John McCain."

Beckworth will be accompanied by Senator Cantrell and many feel this is a final interview of sorts to gauge if they are a good fit for each other. The anonymous source added, "If everything goes well, Palin will make the announcement sometime next week."

------------------------
SCENE: Will's office at Hack's Rusty Nail Saloon

DeWayne walks into the office with his travel bag. Will is seated at his desk feverishly finishing up some work.

Will: Yeah...so much for me going on vacation.

DeWayne: You are going on vacation...when we get back.

Will laughs.

Will: Is Dennis ready to go?

DeWayne: I believe so.

DeWayne fiddles with his travel bag.

DeWayne: Listen. Are you sure about this?

Will: About what?

DeWayne: Her.

Will: I think so. That's why I'm bringing you and Dennis along this time. If you both feel positive about her, then we'll move forward. If not, we won't. I figure this is a no-lose proposition either way.

DeWayne: Except for the fact that we're making news in the process.

Will: At least it's better than us making news because I insulted Keith Olbermann...again.

DeWayne smiles and slings the travel bag over his shoulder.

DeWayne: That's true.

-----------------

Written by ‘Japanese Import’ Rick Shaw and Andrea Doria, this serial is the continuing saga of Buckland County and based on the characters chronicled in the books Loose Cannons of Buckland County and Loose Cannons and Other Weapons of Mass Political Destruction. Buckland County begins after the events at the end of Loose Cannons and Other Weapons of Mass Political Destruction with the premise that the American Heartland party emerged as a viable third party alternative in November 2006 to the other two political parties. As a result, the nation took a diametrically different path than the one taken in reality.

1/13-Buckland County: Gina's Missing

2009-01-14T13:00:00.000-08:00

LAST TIME:

-Politico Online reported that Ohio Senator George Voinovich would be retiring when his term ends in 2010.

-Dennis and DeWayne tell Will he needs to take some time off before beginning to work on the 2010 election.

-Shanna desperately tries to find Gina. She encounters the 'movie director' who feigns knowledge of who Gina is. Shanna hops a boat to go to the movie location.

-Gina is shocked when Miles Everton, her former paramour and arch-enemy walks ashore and tells her he was the one responsible for breaking her and Nick Shavings up. He then promises that the revenge he has in mind for her will be 'sweet indeed.''

-----------------

SCENE: Beach where Gina was chained up on.

Shanna Ramsey climbs out of the boat and runs onto the beach.

Shanna: GINA! GINA!

She sees the post and the chains lying on the beach. She turns and looks out into the ocean.

1/11- Buckland County: Political Online Reports George Voinovich to Retire, Will Goes on Vacation, Gina's Final Surprise

2009-01-11T16:04:00.000-08:00

Last time: Will's remark about Keith Olbermann creates some controversy causing DeWayne and Dennis to discuss sending him off on a well-needed vacation for a couple months.

In the Bahamas, Gina returns to the uninhabited island to finish her movie. Shanna gets a phone call with information and races towards the docks. The final scene of the movie finds Gina chained to a post on the beach waiting to be rescued.

---------------------

VOINOVICH TO ANNOUNCE RETIREMENT - David Rogers and Manu Raju/Politico Online

Ohio Republican George Voinovich is expected to announce Monday that he won't seek reelection to the Senate in 2010.

A two-term senator, former governor and Cleveland mayor, Voinovich has been a political fixture in his state for decades. But recent press reports from his home state have indicated the 72-year-old lawmaker is considering retirement, and a person close to him told Politico Online that the announcement will come Monday.

His retirement would give Democrats and possibly the American Heartland Party a shot at an open Senate seat in a battleground state that voted for Barack Obama in the 2008 elections and elected American Heartlander DeWayne Cantrell to the Senate in 2006.

There was no immediate response from Voinovich’s office, but a Senate Republican leadership aide confirmed that Voinovich’s planned retirement is “real” and an announcement will come soon.

Always a bit of a free spirit, the senator symbolizes an old Midwest pro-labor wing of the Republican Party that has suffered in recent years as Democrats have gained in the region and the often anti-union Southern lawmakers have dominated. This was seen most clearly in the recent Senate debate over helping the auto industry, and Voinovich was plainly frustrated by the opposition in his party to helping the United Auto Workers.

Voinovich becomes the fourth Senate Republican planning to retire at the end of the 111th Congress, signaling another tough election cycle for the GOP in 2010.

In addition to Voinovich, three Republican senators are resigning at the end of their term: Kit Bond of Missouri, another former governor from the Midwest, Mel Martinez of Florida and Sam Brownback of Kansas.

Compounding the problem is the addition of the American Heartland Party to the equation. Party chairman Will Beckworth had already signaled an interest in going after the Senate seats in Missouri, Illinois, and Kansas. No official word has come from American Heartland spokeswoman Tamara Barnes about the possibility of an open seat in Ohio but given their success two years ago it's thought to be a sure bet that they will push hard to win Voinovich's seat.

Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison could leave another vacancy if she resigns her Senate seat and decides to run for governor of Texas.

"Look, 2010 was always going to be a competitive election cycle regardless of the names on the ballot," said Brian Walsh, communications director for the National Republican Senatorial Committee. "It's not like it was before when it was mainly Democrats vs. Republicans. The addition of a third party adds another hurdle for us."

"But, the good news is that in each of the states where we've seen a retirement, and even in the states where there is talk of a retirement, Republicans have a strong bench of experienced and battle-tested candidates waiting in the wings. It's also helpful that these announcement are being made early enough in the cycle so that our candidates will have time to raise money and assemble a strong campaign. But with Democrats only five seats away from a filibuster-proof Majority and the American Heartland Party gaining strength, every race is going to be critical this cycle and [NRSC chair] Senator Cornyn is taking nothing for granted."

----------------------

SCENE: Will's Washington D.C. office.

Will returns with a bottled water to find DeWayne and Dennis waiting in his office.

Will: Okay. What else did we need to talk about?

DeWayne: Well. Will, when was the last time you took a vacation?

Will snickers.

Will: Vacation? What's that?

Dennis: Exactly.

Will: And your point is?

Dennis: I think you need to take some time off.

Will: You want me to take a vacation.

Dennis: Well...yes.

Will: Okay. How long?

DeWayne: A month...or two?

Will: Cool. Who's going to mind the store?

DeWayne: Dennis...me...Tamara...Lincoln Chafee...we can handle things.

Will: Okay. You talked me into it.

Dennis: We just think that you really could use a break. You know, recharge your batteries. Get some rest. Spend some time with your wife and kids.

DeWayne: We figure 2010 is going to be critical for us and we just want you to be in the best mental frame of mind possible.

Will: Guys, you don't have to explain. You're right. The trip to Alaska to see Governor Palin and the whole Olbermann thing got me thinking the same thing. Here.

Will hands two sheets of paper to DeWayne.

DeWayne: What's this?

Will: The first sheet is the phone number for Tom Davis. He's a former U.S. House Rep from Virginia. Moderate Republican who feels the party kind of left him. He left a message for me Friday. The second one is from Mallory Ramsey-Blanton. She's wants to run for George Voinovich's Senate seat in 2010. And since Voinovich is retiring, this may be the time to push her for a higher office.

DeWayne (seemingly surprised): Voinovich is retiring?

Dennis (equally surprised): I didn't know that.

Will: What? You're kidding. It's on Politico Online. The guy's 72 years old. The Republicans have little chance of regaining a majority anytime soon. He's calling it a day. I can't believe you guys didn't know this.

Will smiles and grabs his briefcase.

Will: Well, I'm going to catch a flight back to Toledo and go spend some quality time with my wife and kids. You know where to find me.

Will saunters out the door leaving DeWayne and Dennis dumbfounded.

DeWayne: He's good.

Dennis: Smart-ass.

DeWayne: I guess I'll call Mallory.

Dennis: I'll give Davis a call.

SCENE: On the beach.

Gina remains gagged and chained to the post with her hands shackled behind the post and her feet chained together underneath her legs. Gina tries to shift her weight slightly as she's mildly uncomfortable at being in the same awkward position for a sustained amount of time.

You know...I don't think it takes more than a hour to run through the forest to the beach.

She pulls on the chains. Then she looks out into the ocean. A medium sized yacht is anchored in the distance and a tiny rowboat appears to be coming towards shore.

Interesting...

SCENE: The boat docks in Nassau.

The director and the film crew exit the boat and head towards the exit.
Shanna Ramsey runs from the other side towards the boat. She sees the director and hops two guardrails to get to him.

Shanna: Where is she?

Director: Excuse me?

Shanna grabs him by the collar and throws him down to the ground.

Shanna: I said, where is she?

Director: I don't know what you're talking about.

Shanna: You know damn well who I'm talking about. Now, where is Gina Ramsey?

Director: I...I know no such person.

Voice in distance: Last call for passengers.

Shanna looks up. The boat prepares to leave. She glares back down at the Director.

Shanna: If anything happens to her, I swear to God I'm coming for you. Do you understand me?

The frightened Director nods.

Shanna: Good.

She jumps up and sprints to the entrance.

SCENE: Will and Charlene Ann's living room

Charlene Ann reclines in her easy chair while Willie and Gracie Ann play on the floor.

The phone rings. She reaches for the receiver.

Charlene Ann: Hello?

Will's voice: Hey honey, it's me.

Charlene Ann: Will. What's going on?

Will: Well. We had a meeting today and both Dennis and DeWayne think I need to take a vacation.

Charlene Ann: Vacation?

Will: Yep. So, any thoughts about where you want to go?

Charlene Ann: I don't know. I'm not sure if I can go anywhere with Gina being out of the country.

Will: When will she be back?

Charlene Ann: The end of the month...hopefully.

SCENE: The beach.

The row boat comes ashore.

Gina's eyes widen.

No. It can't be.

A man with a suit coat, white shirt, casual pants, with black hair and mustache approaches. He has a noticeable smirk on his face.

Miles? Miles Everton?

Gina pulls hard on the chains.

Miles: You know, Gina. I have to admit, I enjoyed sabotaging your marriage to Nick Shavings.

She pulls harder.

Miles: But what I've got in mind for you is going to be the sweetest revenge of all.

1/11-Buckland County: Gina's Final Scene, Limbaugh Takes a Shot at American Heartland Party, Will Fires Back

2009-01-11T15:42:00.000-08:00

SCENE: A dark hotel room in Nassau, Bahamas. The waves of the ocean can be seen through a large glass window at the back of the room.

*
A couch sits perpendicular to the near wall. Two feet flop off the far end and occasionally kick a stray beer can on the floor.

*
The phone rings.

*
An arm appears and reaches for the phone. After a couple attempts, the arm finds the phone and lifts it up and back behind the arm of the couch.

*
Voice: Hello?

*
Voice #2: Why did you let her leave?

*
Voice: Que?

*
Voice #2: Gina Ramsey. Why did you let her leave the island?

*
Voice: Senor, she said she wanted a couple days off. We were not shooting those days so I said okay.

*
Voice #2: What if she wouldn’t have come back? My plans would have been ruined. We can’t afford to take any more chances. I want the shooting wrapped up tomorrow.
*

Voice: Tomorrow??
*

Voice #2: Tomorrow. The operation will be put into action. I want her on the beach at 3 o’clock.

*
Voice: Si. Whatever you say.
*

SCENE: Gina’s hotel room in Nassau. Her suitcases sit on the bed.
*

Gina comes out of the bathroom and kicks off her shoes. She opens up a suitcase and begins to put her clothes in the drawer.

*
*KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK*

*
Gina rolls her eyes. She places a shirt inside the drawer and goes to the door.

*
Door opens. It’s a bell boy.

*
Gina: Hello?

*
Bell Boy: This is for you.

*
He hands her an envelope.

*
Gina: Thanks.

*
She closes the door. Gina walks back to the bed and opens the envelope.

*
Gina: The final day of shooting will be tomorrow? What?

*
Gina rereads the note again. Then she tosses the note on the bed.

*
Gina: Well, I guess I don’t need to unpack then. Sheesh.

*
SCENE: The bar at Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon.

*
Will and Charlene Ann Beckworth, Trevor Jackson, and Tessa Rogers sit at the bar looking at a copy of the Buckland County Gazette.

*
Tessa: I thought the New Year’s Eve story came out real well.

*
Trevor: Me, too. I loved the picture of Gina, Charlene Ann, and Governor Palin dancing on the bar.

*
Tessa: Apparently some of the national wires have requested a copy of the picture.

*
Will: It worked out perfectly. The Palins had a great time.

*
Trevor: Do you think she’s still considering changing parties?

*
Will: Trev, I just don’t see it happening. I think she’s angling for a run in 2012.

*
Charlene Ann: I thought it was great that Gina came back for the night. I love her new hairstyle.

*
Trevor: I think she had a fantastic time. She hasn’t looked that happy in a long, long time.

*
Charlene Ann: It’s about time. Gina had that sparkle back in her eye.

*
Will: I think she danced with just about everyone. Even me.

*
Charlene Ann: That was funny.

*
Will: Yeah, yeah……

*
The television in front of them is tuned into CNN. Something scrolling along the bottom catches Will’s attention. Then Rush Limbaugh appears on screen.

*
Will: Katie! Can you turn up the TV?

*
Katie the waitress nods. She plucks the controller from behind the cash register and ups the volume.

*
Limbaugh (on TV): …I said this in 2004 when Cantrell ran as a third-party candidate for president and I’ll say it again- the presence of the American Heartland Party is an unnecessary distraction that’s sucking the life out of the Republican Party. We are the party of change; the American Heartland Party is Democrat Lite. The quicker Republicans get it through their head that as long as the these interlopers occupy seats in the House and Senate that they will not have a sniff of a chance of regaining the majority in either house, the better.

*
Will turned the volume back down.

*
Will: So, this is the Republicans plan. Interesting.

*
——————–

NBC Nightly News With Brian Williams Story On Limbaugh/Palin/Olbermann/American Heartland Party Controversy

Brian Williams: A day after nationally syndicated talk show host Rush Limbaugh exhorted Republicans to squash the American Heartland Party, Republican leaders spent today distancing themselves from those remarks.

*
Rep. John Boehner of Ohio: No, I don’t agree with those sentiments.

*
Senator John McCain of Arizona: Absolutely not. Comments like that just have no place in our dialogue. I have a great working relationship with Senators Cantrell, Whitberry and Lieberman and I hope to work with Senators Barkley and McCaskill on our reform inititives.

*
Brian Williams: But even as Limbaugh’s comments remained in play, a new controversy erupted today over a Keith Olbermann commentary. Olbermann ripped Alaska Governor Sarah Palin for being photographed dancing on a bar at a New Year’s Eve Party in Westville, Ohio. The bar in question also happens to be the headquarters of the American Heartland Party and its Chairman Will Beckworth and Senator DeWayne Cantrell were also in attendance. Olbermann also blasted Beckworth and Cantrell for ‘inviting her’ to the party. Beckworth responded to Olbermann’s comments today.

*
Will Beckworth: You’re kidding, right? (shakes his head in digust) I’m not going to respond to the comments of a couple of four year olds who soil their diapers at everything people they disagree with do. Ain’t happening.

*
——————–

SCENE: The uninhabited island a few miles from Nassau.

*
Gina steps off the boat with the rest of the film crew. The director comes up to her with a script.

*
Director: Gina, we’ve made a couple changes to the script. We going with…big, dramatic finish.

*
Gina: Big, dramatic finish?

*
She thumbs through the revised script.

*
Gina: I see…big, dramatic finish.

*
Director: Right.

*
Gina: Okay. So I’m going to be chained to a post and rescued by Horachi over there?

*
Director: That’s right.

*
She shrugs her shoulders.

*
Gina: Okay, I guess. It wouldn't be the first time.

Director: Que?

Gina: Ah...never mind.

*
Director: I need you to get to wardrobe.

*
Gina nods and heads towards the dressing room.

*
SCENE: American Heartland Party HQ-Washington D.C.

*
Will works in his office. Dennis Storm and DeWayne Cantrell walk in.

*
Dennis: DIAPERS?

*
Will: I thought it was fitting.

*
Dennis: Yeah, but. Why are we getting in a public pissing match with Olbermann and Limbaugh? I thought Boehner and McCain’s remarks said enough.

*
Will: I don’t know.

*
DeWayne: I liked it.

*
Dennis: You would ‘Mr. Steel Folding Chair over the head.’

*
DeWayne: Touche.

*
Dennis: Look, Will. We need to stay focused here. 2010 is going to be a critical year for us if we want to keep the momentum going. Getting into spats like this that we can’t win doesn’t advance the ball.

*
Will nods in agreement.

*
Will: Yeah, you’re right.

*
Dennis: Let Tamara handle that crap. You've got more important stuff to worry about.

*
Will: Okay. I’m going to go get a drink. I’ll be right back.

*
Will gets up and exits.

*
DeWayne: What do you think?

*
Dennis: He’s 27 years old and chairman of a national political party. He’s had only one real vacation over the past four years and that was his honeymoon.

*
DeWayne: He needs a break.

*
Dennis: Yes. I think he could use a nice couple month break to recharge his batteries.

*
DeWayne: I agree. I don’t think he spends nearly as much time with Charlene Ann and the kids as he’d like.

*
Dennis: We’re going to need him going into 2010, DeWayne. If he gets burnt out, um, we’re screwed.

*
DeWayne: Okay. What about the whole Olbermann-Limbaugh thing?
*

Dennis: As for the controversy, let’s refer everything to Tamara. As for the political stuff, keep a close eye on both parties and we’d better gird ourselves for a fight in 2010.

*
SCENE: A hotel room in Nassau, Bahamas.

*
Shanna Ramsey dails out on the telephone. She’s wearing a button up shirt and a pair of jeans.
*

Shanna: Hello?…yeah it’s Shanna…you called?

*
She listens intently.

*
Shanna: Uh-huh…uh-huh…uh-WHAT?…

*
Shanna looks stunned.

*
Shanna: Oh…crap. All right. Bye.

*
She hangs the phone up, grabs her purse, and runs out the door.

*
SCENE: Uninhabited island- beach

*
One of the crew finishes chaining Gina’s hands behind a pole. Her feet are chained together with the chain wrapped around the pole behind her. Her legs are underneath her as her knees support her on the sand. A large shackle is clasped around her neck with the chain wrapped around the pole.

*
Crew: Last thing.

*
He pulls out a cloth.

*
Gina: You’re kidding.

*
Crew: Nope.

*
Gina sighs.

*
He places the cloth in her mouth and wraps it around her head, tying it off in the back.
*

The director comes up.
Director: Is she ready?
*

Gina: Mmmphh-mmmphh.
*

Director: Okay. The hero is back in the woods. We will all follow him as he makes his way here to rescue you. So, just sit tight and relax.

*
Gina: Mmmphh-mmmphh.

*
Director: All right. Let’s go.

*
Everyone heads into the woods leaving Gina behind.

Pinup: The Lovely Alaska Governor Sarah Palin

2009-01-10T05:37:00.001-08:00

Created by 'The One and Only' Alejendro Del Nombre

Alaska Governor Sarah Palin

Pinup- The Weather Channel's Kristina Abernathy

2009-01-09T22:06:00.000-08:00

Created by 'The One and Only' Alejendro Del NombreThe Weather Channel's Kristina Abernathy

New pinup: The Weather Channel's Jen Carfagno

2009-01-09T21:53:00.000-08:00

By popular demand, another 'One and Only' Alejendro Del Nombre creation of the Weather Channel's Jen Carfagno.

Exploding Sheep Productions Presents: Rick and Andrea Do a Porno Movie (Edited for TV)

2009-01-04T17:38:00.001-08:00

1/4- Buckland County: More Detailed Report of Sarah Palin's Visit to Buckland County New Year's Eve

2009-01-04T11:14:00.000-08:00

By Tessa Rogers, Buckland County Gazette Reporter

*
The big buzz around Buckland County this week was the unannounced appearance of former vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin and her husband, Todd, at the annual New Year's Eve blast at Hack's Rusty Nail Saloon.

*
When American Heartland Party Chairman Will Beckworth traveled to Alaska earlier this morning, he left with Governor Palin an open invitation for her to come to Westville to join him and Buckland County in bringing in 2009. Beckworth apparently received notification from the governor's office that she would in fact come down to Ohio sometime last week but kept the news quiet from the media. "It was going to be crazy enough already," Will told the Gazette. "Add a bunch of national media people into the mix and it would have been a zoo."

*
Will and Charlene Ann Beckworth picked up the Palin's at Toledo Express Airport sometime Wednesday afternoon and brought them into Westville soon thereafter. Besides the Beckworths and Senator DeWayne Cantrell, the only other person with knowledge of the Palins arrival into town was Buckland County Gazette editor Trevor Jackson. Jackson promised to keep the news under wraps until the next day.

*
The Palins were given a tour of Buckland County by the Beckworths and then had dinner at Hack's Rusty Nail Saloon. As the bash began, the Black Swamp Pirates took the stage at nine o'clock and played a few songs. Then Junior Jackson, lead singer of the Pirates, told everyone that the Palins were here celebrating New Year's Eve at Hack's. The announcement brought the house down- especially when Sarah Palin came out to help with background vocals on the Pirates' big hit 'American Elitist.' But the sound in the building paled in comparison to the sonic blast that erupted from the Hack's Rusty Nail Saloon audience when Junior strummed the opening notes of their song 'Keith' - a scathing ode to MSNBC's Keith Olbermann- and Palin, reading the lyrics from a song sheet, smiled and sang along with Junior. Palin grinned broadly while singing the last two lines of the chorus which go:

*
"I might be the worst person in the world

But you're the biggest a**hole, in the whole wide universe..."

The Pirates did their usual fare from a spirited rendition of the official national anthem of Hack's Rusty Nail Saloon, "Up Against the Wall Redneck Mother' to a honky tonk version of Barry Manilow's 'Copacabana' (yes, I said honky tonk and Barry Manilow in the same sentence) that had people line-dancing on the main floor.

*
The highlight of the evening took place when the Pirates brought out semi-retired Canadian songbird and multi-million selling country artist Karayna McAlister-Cantrell to sing a few song. She did a couple of her big hits, 'Any Guy of Mine,' and 'Oh Man- Am I Feelin' Like a Woman or what?' When Black Swamp Pirate drummer Marty Martin pounded away on the backbeat of Karayna's 'Unh-unh,' former Buckland County Sheriff Gina Ramsey, back from filming a movie in the Bahamas for a couple days, climbed onto the bar and pulled Charlene Ann Beckworth up with her. Then Gina beckoned the former Republican vice presidential candidate to join them. Palin hesitated at first but finally climbed up and joined the other two. With significant others and the rest of the bar watching, a huge spotlight illuminated the three, Gina, Charlene Ann, and Sarah did their best Coyote Ugly imitations as Karayna pounded through 'Unh-Unh.'

From left to right: Gina Ramsey, Charlene Ann Beckworth, Governor Sarah Palin

Karayna and band segued right into a hard, countryish version of Sheena Easton's old hit 'Strut' and then the ladies on the bar kicked it into high gear. They improvised a line dance right on the spot that the other people on the dance floor quickly picked up. Soon the whole bar seemed to be moving in synch with each other, much to the delight of Junior Jackson and the band.

Will Beckworth, Senator Cantrell, PCW Owner Bubba Jackson, Gina Ramsey, and Sarah made the first toast of the New Year at midnight. The Palins departed for the Buckland Motel around one and the Beckworths took them back to Toledo Express the next morning.

PCW Owner Bubba Jackson, Senator DeWayne Cantrell, Gina Ramsey, and Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin

Buckland County 2009: Governor Sarah Palin Makes Surprise Appearance at Hack's Rusty Nail Saloon New Year's Eve Party

2009-01-01T10:49:00.000-08:00

by Tessa Rogers, Buckland County Gazette reporter

*
Last night, a capacity crowd brought in the new year with a rocking party headlined by Karayna McAlister-Cantrell and the Black Swamp Pirates and Alaska Governor Sarah Palin at Hack's Rusty Nail Saloon.

*
Palin was one of many luminaries at the New Year's Eve party. Ohio Senator DeWayne Cantrell, American Heartland Party Chair Will Beckworth, Political Championship Wrestling co-owner Bubba Jackson and his wife Shelley, Westville Mayor Mallory Ramsey-Blanton and her husband B.J., Buckland County CEO Colonel Norris Rickman and his fiancee PCW personality Dawn McGill, and Channel 86 personality Amanda Jackson partied until two o'clock in the morning.
Even former Buckland County Sheriff Gina Ramsey flew back from a movie shoot in the Bahamas to be at the New Year's Eve bash. Ramsey, Hack's Owner Charlene Ann Beckworth, and Governor Palin are pictured here doing their best Coyote Ugly imitation on the bar.

From left to right: Gina Ramsey, Charlene Ann Beckworth, Governor Sarah Palin

A good time was had by all. Neither Will or Charlene Ann Beckworth would comment on Governor Palin's appearance. American Heartland Party Communications Director Tamara Barnes did say that an invitation was extended to her by Will Beckworth when he visited Alaska last month.

Beer Commercial

2008-12-30T20:54:00.000-08:00

New Pinup of Buckland County 2008's Gina Ramsey

2008-12-30T18:29:00.001-08:00

Buckland County 2008's Gina Ramsey

And now, a message from Andrea Doria to PETA, the politically correct, and the religious ultra-right.

2008-12-26T21:21:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas from Exploding Sheep Productions

2008-12-25T19:35:00.000-08:00

...and Prairie Depot Press

Buckland County 2008's Gina Ramsey

Hocus Focus by Stephen Hines is Released by ALB Books

2008-12-25T17:00:00.001-08:00

HOCUS FOCUS by Stephen Hines from ALB Books, Ohio

Video Trailer for 'Hocus Focus'

Everybody has something to hide. Nobody is what they seem to be.

8th Grader Lenny Ussendt’s seeing things. Strange things.

After moving to rich, snooty town of Aulmpitt, Ohio, Lenny gets a new pair of contacts from the mysterious Dr. Third. Being the new kid in town is scary, but the hideous and bizarre sights Lenny sees in his new school are even scarier. His gym teacher is a caveman. A mummy is teaching math. The principal is a living cardboard cut-out. And the other students? Well, they’re walking talking plastic Barbie and Ken dolls. Fortunately, Lenny is able to befriend three other punk rock misfits at Aulmpitt Junior High and together they form a band. But as soon as he begins to come to grips with his strange new life, he meets the mysterious Pauline. Everyone in town thinks she’s autistic but Lenny’s contacts show him that there’s more to her than meets the eyes…and, somehow, he knows he’s the only one who can help her.

Hocus Focus is the perfect book for junior high and high school students. Check it out at Stephen Hines' website http://www.stephenhines.org/.

Christmas Pinup: The Weather Channel's Stephanie Abrams

2008-12-23T21:19:00.001-08:00

Created by 'The One and Only' Alejendro Del Nombre:

The Weather Channel's Stephanie Abrams

Christmas Pinup- Gina Ramsey and Santa Claus

2008-12-22T19:07:00.000-08:00

Artwork by Art Neuveaux:

It's hard to tell who's enjoying this more- Gina or Santa Claus

The Sex Police Christmas Special

2008-12-22T17:22:00.000-08:00

It’s the week before Christmas…

A busy department store. People elbow to elbow frantically trying to finish their Christmas shopping.

A mother and her son try to navigate through the madness in the toy department.

Tommy: (obnoxiously excited) Mommy, Mommy! I want to go see Santa Claus!

Mother: (harried and losing patience) Pipe down, Tommy!

Tommy: But Mommy!

Mother: We’ll see Santa Claus before we leave…I promise. Now, let’s go!

Tommy stops at a display and points at it.

Tommy: Mommy, Mommy, I want the official Dick Cheney Neo-con Let’s Make War kit with the official letter telling the UN to kiss off included!

Mother: No Tommy! Let’s go!

Tommy stops at some posters. He sifts through them until he finds one he likes.

Tommy: Mommy! Can I get the official pinup poster of Sarah Palin?

Mother: No!

Tommy: But it’s Alaskan National Guard certified!

Mother: I didn’t even vote for Sarah Palin. Let’s go!

She finally gets him out of the toy section. They pass by the lingerie. Tommy stops again.

The mother spins around when she realizes Tommy isn’t with her.

Mother: TOMMY!

Tommy: Yes, Mommy?

Mother: Stop playing with the ladie’s lingerie!

Tommy: But this lady doesn’t seem to mind!

The lingerie model smiles and looks down at Tommy.

Model: Hey kid. Maybe when you get a little older.

She winks at him.

Tommy scurries off and catches up with his mom.

A man walks up to the mother.

Man: Hey, little girl. Do you want to see his atomic ray gun?

Mother: Excuse me?

Tommy: I do.

Mother: Shut up, Tommy.

Tommy: But I want to see the atomic ray gun!

She grabs his hand and briskly leaves the area.

Mother: I don’t think that’s what he meant.

Tommy: Huh?

Mother: Never mind.

Soon enough, Tommy and his mom reach Santa Claus and he climbs up on his lap. Tommy excitedly lists off all the things he wants for Christmas…

Tommy: …I want some napalm…some nude 3-D pictures of Megan Fox and…oh, I want Peace on Earth.

Santa Claus: Aw come on Tommy, be realistic. Peace on Earth? Wouldn’t rather have a home computer? We’ve got them on sale in the electronics section for only $499!

Tommy: Nah. And I want something real nice for mom because she’s the best mom I’ve ever had!

Santa Claus: Awwww. Isn’t that sweet? Where is she?

Tommy points to where his mom is standing.

Tommy: Over there.

Santa Claus and Tommy walk over to her.

Santa Claus: Your son tells me that you’re the best mother around.

Mother: Thanks. But he’s trying to make up for the time he ran over the neighbor’s cat with the lawn mower.

Santa Claus: I’m sure you have your hands full.

Santa leans over and gives her a peck on the cheek.

Mother: Aw, thanks.

Santa Claus: Ho…ho…ho! Merry-

An huge explosion rocks the store. Pieces of the ceiling fall. Two people rappel down from the roof.

Voice: Stop! Stop that right now!

Mother: Who…who are you?

Voice: We are...

*pause for dramatic sound effect*

Tommy’s mom gasps.

Tommy: Officer Bolin T. Jack! Captain Chastity! Cool! It’s the Sex Police!

*Pause for dramatic sound effect*

Bolin T. Jack: How’d he do that?

Captain Chastity: How’d he know our names?

Tommy: Internet.

Bolin T. Jack: Oh. Right…I am Officer Bolin T. Jack and this is my assistant Captain Chastity. We are…

*Pause for dramatic sound effect*

Bolin T. Jack: We are placing both of you under arrest for Gross Public Display of Affection!

*Pause for dramatic sound effect*

Tommy's mom gasps again.

Santa Claus: Ho…ho…ho. But it was just a peck.

Capt. Chastity: Sure. It might have been just a peck. But everyone knows what that leads to.

Tommy: More pecking?

Mother: Shut up Tommy.

Capt. Chastity: That's right. Then it leads to kissing on the mouth, exchanging tongues or what they call French kissing. Then it degenerates into the most disgusting, lewdful, sinful forms of gratiutious and lustful sexual intercourse.

Tommy: Really? I didn’t know that.

Mother: Shut up Tommy.

Bolin T. Jack: Cuff them, Captain Chastity. And make sure they stay several feet apart.

Capt. Chastity: Yes, sir.

Captain Chastity handcuffs Tommy’s mom’s hands behind her back.

Mother: Tommy. In my purse is my cell phone. Call your Dad.

Tommy: Cool. Wait until I tell him that Mommy’s been arrested by the Sex Police.

Mother: Just call-…er…on second thought. That’s not a good idea.

Bolin T. Jack: Let’s go.

Officer Jack and Captain Chastity lead Tommy’s mom and Santa Claus away.

Tommy starts to dial the cell phone.

Mother: TOMMY! DON’T CALL DADDY! TOMMY! TOMMYYYYYYYY!

Buckland County 2008: The Political Fix- Chris Cilizza/Washington Post

2008-12-21T19:06:00.000-08:00

The Friday Senate Political Line: Lots of Appointments
On its face, an appointment to the Senate seems to be about the best gift an aspiring politician could ask for.

*
Rather than spend two years of your life running for the office -- raising the millions (or tens of millions) necessary to stay competitive, watching as your personal foibles are dredged up for the world to see and trudging around to every corner of a state to meet and greet voters -- you simply need to impress one person (the governor) and voila, you are a member of the world's greatest deliberative body.
*

Or not.
*

A look back at Senate appointments made over the past 50 years shows a decidedly mixed electoral record. Of the 51 Senators who sought a full term in their own right, just 23 (45 percent) won their races. (Twenty one appointed Senators did not seek election to their appointed post.)
*

While the last three appointed senators -- Sens. Bob Menendez (D-N.J.), John Barrasso (R-Wy.) and Roger Wicker (R-Miss.) -- were elected in the next cycle, there also have been high profile losses by appointed senators in recent years including the defeats of Sens. Bob Krueger (D-Texas), Sheila Frahm (R-Kan.), and Jean Carnahan (D-Mo.).
*

It's always helpful to keep that history in mind when considering the races to come in New York, Delaware and Colorado (and possibly Illinois) where appointed senators will be faced with a decision on whether to seek election or step aside.
*

What's clear is that no matter what they decide (Democratic Sen. Ted Kaufman in Delaware has already said he will not seek a full term), none of the appointed senators -- yes, even you Caroline Kennedy -- can be assured of an easy election in 2010.
*

Another factor that has to be accounted for is the emergence of the American Heartland Party. Will Beckworth’s jolly band of political pirates now have 5 seats in the Senate (Joe Lieberman- CT, Nevin McCaskill- NH, Ken Whitberry- NM, DeWayne Cantrell- OH, and Dean Barkley- MN) and could be poised to make even more inroads in 2010.
*

With the New Year fast approaching, we have decided to begin ranking the top 10 Senate races this week -- a little early Christmas/Hannukah/Kwanza/Festivus present for the Fixistas out there.
*

Obviously, this Political Line will change MANY times between now and November 2010 -- depending on candidate recruitment, retirements and a thousand other factors. So if your pet race isn't on the Line this time, don't fret -- it's better to be on the Political Line at the end of the cycle than the beginning of it.
*

As always, the number one ranked race is the most likely to switch parties in November 2010. Kudos or critiques? The light on the comments section is blinking "Open."
*

To the Political Line!
*

10. (tie) Nevada (D): Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D) is public enemy #1 for Republicans who will ensure he has a tough race. Reid did himself a favor by helping to defeat likely 2010 challenger Rep. Jon Porter (R) last month, but a Research 2000 poll done for the liberal blog Daily Kos shows Porter still quite competitive with Reid. Lt. Gov. Brian Krolicki's (R) candidacy is a non-starter and it's not clear whether Porter will run. Regardless, Republicans will find someone.
*

10. (tie) Ohio (R): Democrats' gains in Ohio over the past two cycles -- wins in races for Senate and governor in 2006 and at the presidential level in 2008 -- should make Sen. George Voinovich (R) nervous. A recent Quinnipiac University poll shows Voinovich in decent shape (51 percent of voters approve of the job he is doing while 31 percent disapprove) although he is in a statistical dead heat with a generic Democrat candidate. The most likely Democrat to run is Lt. Gov. Lee Fisher. Speculation over whether Voinovich will decide to run for reelection is still out there as well. The American Heartland Party will also figure into this. The Heartlanders most likely candidate is Mallory Ramsey-Blanton, a relatively unknown small town mayor who once was a rising star in Ohio Democratic Party circles.
*

9. Illinois (D): Knowing what will happen next in the ongoing scandal surrounding Gov. Rod Blagojevich is absolutely impossible and, therefore, handicapping this Senate seat is tough. Democrats seem (generally) unified against a special election to fill the vacancy created by Barack Obama's election as president, believing -- probably rightly -- that in two years time no voter will make his/her decision based on whether there was a special election or an appointment. Even so, Republicans should have their best shot in recent memory of taking this seat back whether in a special election -- with Reps. Mark Kirk and Peter Roskam both mentioned. The American Heartland Party is also rumored to be actively looking for someone to run, either in the special election or in 2010.
*

8. Kansas (R): Sen. Sam Brownback's decision to return to the state to run for governor in 2010 gives Democrats a real chance at a pickup. Gov. Kathleen Sebelius's decision to unilaterally remove herself from consideration for open slots in Obama's Cabinet led some to speculate that she had decided to run for Senate. If she takes that road, she would start the race as the favorite with Reps. Jerry Moran (R) and Todd Tiahrt (R) both far less well known than Sebelius. Still, Democrats haven't won a Kansas Senate seat since 1932. That's, um, 76 years. The American Heartlanders- never. However, Brownback’s retirement could open up an avenue for the right candidate for the up and coming third party to make a serious challenge.
*

7. Colorado (D): Sen. Ken Salazar's (D) surprise appointment as Obama's choice to head the Interior Department means that Gov. Bill Ritter (D) will be charged with making an appointment to fill the two years remaining on Salazar's term. Any of the leading Democrats in the appointment race -- Denver Mayor John Hickenlooper, Rep. Ed Perlmutter and Rep. John Salazar -- would start off the general election as a favorite but Republicans are almost certain to seriously contest the race. A slew of GOPers are mentioned led by state Attorney General John Suthers, former Rep. Scott McInnis and Rep. Tom Tancredo. Also certain to make a serious run here is the American Heartland Party. Ken Whitberry finished a close second to Barack Obama in the 2008 general election. They feel this is another place where the right candidate could open the door to gain the seat.
*

6. New Hampshire (R): Sen. Judd Gregg is one of the last Republicans standing in the Northeast, and the changes in the Granite State over the last two elections show that he will stand for reelection to a fourth term with a very different electorate than in races past. Rep. Paul Hodes (D) said earlier this week he is taking a serious look at the race and national Democrats believe he is the real deal. This is a race that could move up the Line quickly in the coming months. After the stunning success of Senator-elect Nevin McCaskill this year, expect the Heartlanders to search high and low for a candidate to challenge Judd Gregg.
*

5. Missouri (R): Democrats make the case every six years that Sen. Kit Bond is ripe for defeat and yet the Republican incumbent just keeps on winning -- with 53 percent in 1998 and 56 percent in 2004. This time around things may be different due to the potential candidacy of Missouri Secretary of State Robin Carnahan, who is widely seen as the most naturally talented politician of her decidedly political family. A Research 2000 poll for Daily Kos showed the race tight with Bond at 47 percent and Carnahan at 43 percent. Democrats believe that in spite of Obama's narrow loss in Missouri in 2008 they have cracked the code of electing members of their party statewide in the Show Me State. Bond's reelection race will put that theory to the test. However, the American Heartlander’s represent a potential monkey wrench to the Democratic’s theory. Will Beckworth confirmed that they do have a candidate who will run in 2010 and he feels that they have as good of shot as the Democrats do to win this seat.
*

4. Pennsylvania (R): No 2010 race will draw as much national attention in the next two years as this one -- at least until "Hardball" host Chris Matthews makes up his mind about whether or not to run. Our guess is that it's probably 50-50 right now with a decision expected sometime early next year. A number of other Democrats also are looking at the race -- Reps. Allyson Schwartz, Patrick Murphy and Joe Sestak as well as state Rep. Josh Shapiro -- but no one will make any moves until Matthews decides whether he is in or out. On the Republican side, the big question is whether former Rep. Pat Toomey tries to knock off Sen. Arlen Specter again in a Republican primary. Six years ago, Toomey came within 17,000 votes of pulling off the upset. For the American Heartland Party, Beckworth again confirmed that they have a candidate ready to go.
*

3. Florida (R): It's rare when a retirement improves the incumbent party's chances of holding a seat. But, Sen. Mel Martinez's (R) decision to step aside and the possible candidacy of former Gov. Jeb Bush (R) may be one of those cases. Martinez was facing a VERY tough climb to re-election; Bush, if he runs (Democrats believe he will, Republicans are more non-committal), starts the race as the frontrunner. Democrats are working hard to convince state CFO Alex Sink to run; if she doesn't, expect a crowded primary field.
*

2. Louisiana (R): Voters in the Pelican State may have forgotten the fact that Sen. David Vitter's (R) name was listed in the "D.C. Madam" call book but they will be reminded of it quite a few times between now and 2010. Vitter has apologized for what he called a "very serious sin" but voters detest hypocrisy and Democrats are certain to cast him as someone who says one thing publicly and does another in private. Secretary of State Jay Dardenne is already being floated as a possible primary challenger to Vitter and Democrats have several potential candidates including Rep. Charlie Melancon and wealthy businessman Jim Bernhard.
*

1. Kentucky (R): When Sen. Jim Bunning (R) narrowly escaped an upset defeat in 2004, most party operatives expected he wouldn't seek reelection six years hence. But Bunning insiders insist he is ready to run for a third term -- although doubts persist. Assuming he is running again, Bunning is in real trouble. While we don't expect Rep. Ben Chandler (D) to run -- he is perfectly happy sitting on Appropriations in the House -- Democrats are certain to field a strong candidate with Lt. Gov. Dan Mongiardo, who lost to Bunning 51 percent to 49 percent in 2004, probably having the right of first refusal. Among the other Democrats mentioned are state Attorney General Jack Conway and state Auditor Crit Luallen.

Christmas Pinup: The Weather Channel's Kristina Abernathy

2008-12-20T04:33:00.000-08:00

Created by 'The One and Only' Alejendro Del Nombre:

The Weather Channel's Kristina Abernathy

Christmas Pinup- The Weather Channel's Jen Carfagno

2008-12-17T20:08:00.000-08:00

Created by 'The One and Only' Alejendo Del Nombre:

The Weather Channel's Jen Carfagno

Buckland County 2008: DeWayne's Taking a Trip, His big idea

2008-12-14T07:46:00.000-08:00

Will’s Washington D.C. office at the American Heartland Party Washington building
Will and DeWayne sit in opposite chairs and drink a beer.

*
Will: So. Who do you have in mind for Illinois?
*

DeWayne: I don’t know. I checked with Corrina in Texas and she going to send out some feelers to some people she knows in the area.
*

Will: I’m surprised Joe Lieberman or even Dean Barkley don’t have names in mind.
*

DeWayne: Illinois is a different political animal, Will. Let’s keep our ears and eyes open.
*

Will: Okay.
*

DeWayne: I need to tell you something. And you have to promise that you won’t say anything until it’s been announced.
*

Will: Oh? You’re not dying or anything are you?
*

DeWayne’s eyebrows arched up in outright annoyance.
*

DeWayne: NO! Jeez…no. I-ah…I met with the president yesterday. I’m flying to Iraq Saturday night with him and a few others.
*

Will: Holy ****.
*

DeWayne: Yeah. That’s what I thought.
*

Will: Does Karayna know?
*

DeWayne: Yes. She’s going over with us and play a couple quick shows there.
*

DeWayne’s deameanor turned serious. He hands Will an envelope.
*

Will: What’s this?
*

DeWayne: My will.
*

Will: DeWayne!
*

DeWayne: Look. Don’t get all nervous. It’s just a precaution. Once it’s been announced that President Bush has been to Iraq, I want you to give it to Charlene Ann.
*

Will: When are you leaving?
*

DeWayne checks his watch.
*

DeWayne: In an hour.
*

Will: Then I think I’m going to fly back tomorrow morning and surprise Charlene Ann. That way, I can go with her to Kalamazoo to the Western Michigan-Bowling Green tomorrow night. Lord knows, we haven’t spent a lot of time together of late. I owe her a few days.
DeWayne: Go ahead. I don’t think we’re going to know any more about what Illinois is going to do about the Senate seat in the next couple days anyways. Take some time. Take care of my daughter.

*
Wll: I will. The other nice thing is that I’ll get to see Nick Shavings one more time before he heads back to Chicago.
*

DeWayne’s eyes light up.
*

DeWayne: Chicago?
*

Will: Yeah. You knew Nick moved to Chicago after the divorce.

DeWayne: No. No I didn't.

Will: He's been there at least 6 months now.
*

Will notices DeWayne's strange expression.
*

Will: What?

*
DeWayne looks up and processes whatever he’s thinking about.
*

Will’s not sure what to make of it.
*

Will: DeWayne? What are you……oh, no……no, no…you’re not thinking what I think you’re thinking?

*
DeWayne: I think you know darn well what you’re thinking I’m thinking.

*
Will: I’m thinking that the fact you think that I think that I know darn well what I’m thinking you’re thinking means I know exactly what you’re thinking. I’m thinking…ARE YOU MAD??
*

DeWayne: I’m thinking the fact that you think you’ve figured out what I’m thinking-
*

Will: Okay, okay. Are you insane? Nick running for the U.S. Senate? What make you think that there’s a rational world that suggests Nick Shaving would even want to run for the US Senate.
*

DeWayne: Well. You’ve got me there. We’ll just have to persuade him.

*
Will: DeWayne, we’re not talking about some write-in in Buckland County. We’re talking about the United States Senate. Chicago politics. Rough and tumble.

*
DeWayne: That would make him the perfect candidate, Will. He’s everything that the other candidates won’t be. Nick’s so squeaky clean we’ll encourage them to dig for dirt on him.
Will: Hold on there, hoss. He’s got a divorce under his belt. In the…highly unlikely and improbable chance that Nick says yes, I think we’d better vet him and probably Gina Ramsey as well to make sure there’s nothing out there that could bite us in the end.
*

DeWayne: You think he’ll do it?
*

Will: No! But I have an idea. I’ll call Mallory Ramsey-Blanton when I get back and talk to her about it.

Buckland County 2008: Gina's Sister in the Bahamas, Will and DeWayne Discuss College Football, Charlene Ann Going to Bowling Green game.

2008-12-14T04:59:00.000-08:00

Nassau, Bahamas- Airport
Shanna Ramsey strolls down the hall leading towards the luggage claim area in a white sarong with matching sandals and an oversized white hat. She generally looks like a younger version of her big sister Gina with the same model-type, smoldering hot look.

*
Shanna darts in and out of the crowded terminal on the way to the luggage area. She checks her watch and veers right to miss an older couple in her path.
*

Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon- Westville, Ohio
Will Beckworth, Trevor Jackson, and Charlene Ann Beckworth sit at the bar while Katie the Waitress serves them. It is late in the evening and Hack’s is nearly cleared out. Just a few patrons remain.

*
Will: So, when is Nick going back to Chicago?

*
Charlene Ann: He said at the end of the week.
*

Trevor: Your honest opinion here, Charlene Ann…what do you think of Nick dating Tessa Rogers?

*
Charlene Ann: You know…it’s hard to say. I’ve always associated Nick being with Gina. They seem like a good couple. Why do you ask?

*
Trevor: Just curious. Tessa always seemed to me to be a bit more aggressive and ambitious than Gina. Gina could have her moments but she usually is pretty laid back about most things.

Tessa tends to be the opposite.
*

Charlene Ann: I guess we’ll have to wait and see how it develops. If they’re happy…I’m happy. Nick deserves it.
*

Trevor: I agree. And don’t get me wrong about Tessa. She’s a great person. It’s just her mindset is more career oriented. Nick seems to me to be ready to settle down.
*

Will: Hey Katie, can I get another Budweiser here?
*

Katie nods in acknowledgement.

*
Katie: I’ll be there in just a second.
*

Will: Thanks.

*
Will’s cell phone rings. Will looks at the number on the console.
*

Will: DeWayne? What’s up?

*
DeWayne: Have you been following the whole Blagojevich thing?
*

Will: Yeah. It’s been all over the news. It’s kinda hard to miss.

*
DeWayne: I think there’s a good chance Illinois will have to have some sort of special election to fill Obama’s Senate seat. It might be an opportunity for us.

*
Will: I agree. The problem is we have no presence in Illinois. I don’t even know anyone who’s from Illinois.

*
DeWayne: I know that the legislature started to put together a bill to strip Blagojevich of the authority to name the new senator.

*
Will: We probably ought to give it a few more days to see where it’s going.

*
DeWayne: So when are you coming in?

*
Will: I confirmed my flight for tomorrow night. I should be in D.C. by nine o’clock.

*
DeWayne: What’d you think of the other big news story today?
*

Will: What other big story?
*

DeWayne: The non-BCS teams telling the BCS conferences to go-
*

Will: Oh, THAT story. Yeah, about freakin’ time. Charlene Ann is going up to Kalamazoo to watch Bowling Green play Western Michigan Saturday night. I swear that girl loves her football.
*

DeWayne: She’s taking her sisters up with her. And she’s paid for a thousand seats for students to go up too. Yes, she loves football…yes she does.
*

Will: All right, I’ll give you a call when I get in.
*

DeWayne: Talk to you tomorrow night.
*

Will clicked off the cell phone.
*

Charlene Ann: What’ s Dad up to?
*

Will: Nothing good. We just talked a bit about Blagojevich in Illinois.
*

Charlene Ann: I wish you didn’t have to go to Washington this weekend.
*

Will: I wish you could go with me.
*

Charlene Ann: I could if I had someone to watch the bar. Gina’s gone for at least a month. And besides, I don’t want to miss the Bowling Green game Saturday night.
*

Trevor: I wonder how Gina’s doing?

Small Island- a few miles from the Bahamas.
A campfire burns on the beach. The movie crew sit around the fire and relax from a long day of shooting.

*
Gina Ramsey lounges in a chair in a spaghetti strap tank top and shorts. Her bare feet dig into the sand. The wind rustles through her hair. She sips from a mixed drink and stares silently off into the ocean.
———–
Written by ‘Japanese Import’ Rick Shaw and Andrea Doria, this serial is the continuing saga of Buckland County and based on the characters chronicled in the books Loose Cannons of Buckland County and Loose Cannons and Other Weapons of Mass Political Destruction. Buckland County 2008 begins two years after the events at the end of Loose Cannons and Other Weapons of Mass Political Destruction with the premise that the American Heartland party emerged as a viable third party alternative in November 2006 to the other two political parties. As a result, the nation took a diametrically different path than the one taken in reality.

Buckland County 2008: Gina Heads to Location. Will Talks About Newsweek. Nick Talks About Tessa.

2008-12-14T04:48:00.000-08:00

NASSAU, BAHAMAS
Gina Ramsey prepares to board a boat. There’s a skelton crew from the film company going with her. Gina’s escort puts his hand on her back to guide her to the boat.

*
Gina: So where exactly are we going?
*

Guide: To an island a few miles off shore. The first scene we’re shooting with you is on a tropical island. This island is relatively uninhabited so we pretty much have free reign on it.
*

Gina nods as she boards the boat.
*

Gina: Okay. How long are we going to shooting there?
*

Guide: About a week.
*
HACK’S RUSTY NAIL SALOON
Will Beckworth, Trevor Jackson, Nick Shavings, Tessa Rogers, and Charlene Ann Beckworth sit at the bar.

*
Trevor: So Mister Newsweek cover boy, how does it feel to be interviewed for a national publication?

*
Will: Trev, it’s nice to be interviewed for once by someone who’s actually well-known and famous.

Trevor: Ow!

*
Will: Sorry…couldn’t resist.
*

Trevor: I thought he did a nice job.
*

Will: Nice guy, too. I’ve always been a big Howard Fineman fan.
*

Trevor: It’s good exposure for the party.
*

Will: Yes. We’ll see if it translates into more people joining on.
*

Trevor: So…what’s going to happen with the Senate?
*

Will: I think we’re cooked in terms of the old power sharing agreement. The Democrats have the votes, period. At least we were able to keep Joe Lieberman’s committee chair.
*

Trevor: What’s your thoughts on President-elect Obama so far.
*

Will: I’m interested in some of his ideas. DeWayne called from Washington earlier. Obama invited him, Dean Barkley, and Nevin McCaskill to the White House for a meeting this week. That ought to be interesting in itself. Especially McCaskill. You realize that one year ago he was nothing more than an anonymous grocery store owner in Nashua. Now, he gets to meet the President of the United States.

**
Trevor: That is a great story. Where’d you find him?

*
Will: He found us. I was up in Manchester doing a meet and greet. He came up to me and just started talking and the rest speaks for itself. He’s very well spoken and very passionate about the issues concerning the other two parties.

*
Trevor: McCaskill won the election at the last debate with Sununu and Shaheen. He was nothing short of brilliant.

*
Will: And he’s really a political novice. That’s the scary thing.

*
Charlene Ann: So, Nick. When did you and Tessa get together?

*
Nick: Well…I just happened to run into her in Chicago.

*
Tessa: I was there visiting my parents and we were out to dinner. Nick came in with some of his police buddies. We talked…and talked…and talked some more.

*
Nick: She’s been coming out every other weekend.

*
Tessa: Honey, I need to use the bathroom. I’ll be right back.
*

Tessa kisses Nick. She gets up from the bar stool and leaves for the bathroom.

*
Nick: So, Charlene Ann. How do you think Gigi’s going to take this?

*
Charlene Ann: Well? Let’s put it this way. She actually went out on a date with Rex Randall two weeks ago.

*
Nick: Say what? Rex Randall?

*
Trevor: The one who spyed on you and Gina?

*
Charlene Ann: Yep.

*
Nick: It’s worse than I thought.

*
Charlene Ann: Pretty much.

*
Nick: When is she due back?

*
Charlene Ann: She said a month and a half. Speaking of, have you heard anything from Shanna Ramsey?

*
Nick: Not yet. She left me a message that she was going to travel down to the Bahamas herself and check things out. What are you worried about?

*
Charlene Ann: I don’t know, Nick. I just have a funny feeling about this. Knowing her past, I…well…something doesn’t feel right about it. I can’t explain it.
*

Nick: Well, don’t worry. Shanna’s going to personally check out the movie company. If something’s not right, she’ll get to the bottom of it.
———-
Written by ‘Japanese Import’ Rick Shaw and Andrea Doria, this serial is the continuing saga of Buckland County and based on the characters chronicled in the books Loose Cannons of Buckland County and Loose Cannons and Other Weapons of Mass Political Destruction. Buckland County 2008 begins two years after the events at the end of Loose Cannons and Other Weapons of Mass Political Destruction with the premise that the American Heartland party emerged as a viable third party alternative in November 2006 to the other two political parties. As a result, the nation took a diametrically different path than the one taken in reality.

Buckland County 2008: Newsweek's Howard Fineman's Article About Will Beckworth

2008-12-14T04:43:00.001-08:00

Will Beckworth lives the simple life, from his Bowling Green State University cap to his modest office located in a bar in rural Westville, Ohio. Sure, Beckworth does have some nice connections. He just spent a couple days in Alaska talking with Governor Sarah Palin. His wife, Charlene Ann, is the daughter of Senator DeWayne Cantrell of Ohio. Beckworth has his hands in many cookie jars from these days from managing a fledging political party to plotting a grass roots strategy to bring more people into the American Heartland Party to spending time with his wife and two twin children.

*
Having picked up two more Senate and a handful of House seats in Congress, Beckworth is now busy branding the American Heartland Party as the viable alternative to the Republicans and Democrats. Five years ago, he was a twenty-two year old college student writing a dissertation for his doctorate in political science on running a grass roots political campaign using internet, talk radio, voter registration, and other creative methods to get a message out without expending millions upon millions of dollars. Four years ago, Beckworth actually got to put his theory into practice, running DeWayne Cantrell’s out of left field write-in campaign for president that set everything everyone assumed about politics totally on its ear.

*
But it was the 2006 campaign that heralded the emergence of the American Heartland Party onto the American political landscape. It all started with Cantrell’s explosive appearance at a hearing before Senator David Hutchinson’s Committee to explore the ‘Media and Their Contribution to the Coarseness of the American Culture.’ Cantrell immediately catapaulted himself into an already hot and heavy Ohio Senate race and defeated Senator Hutchinson and Congressman Sherrod Brown in the fall of 2006. Cantrell became the first member of the American Heartland Party to be elected to national office.

*
After Cantrell’s Senate appearance, Rhode Island Senator Lincoln Chafee joined the American Heartland Party in the middle of a difficult re-election campaign. Despite Beckworth’s extensive intervention in the Rhode Island race, in the end Chafee would not hold on to his seat. Chafee stayed in Washington as Senator-elect Cantrell’s chief of staff. New Mexico Senator Ken Whitberry also switched parties on the eve of the 2006 election and Joe Lieberman later joined in 2007. Eighteen House members switched parties as well in the fall of 2006.

*
With the Senate essentially deadlocked with forty-eight Democratic seats to forty-seven with five independents- two of whom caucused with the Democrats, suddenly the American Heartland contingent of Cantrell, Whitberry, and Lieberman held the balance of power in their hands. Beckworth and Chafee managed an intense three way negotiation between the Democrats, Republicans, and the American Heartlanders and hammered out a power sharing agreement that brought all three parties together in an equal partnership.

*
In 2007, it fell to Congress to restore the country’s shattered confidence in the United States—in its ability to govern itself, revitalize its economy and lead the planet. Without that confidence, investors foreign and domestic would remain reluctant to plunge back into the American market. In 2007, a remarkable thing took place, Congress and President Bush worked together. “There was a bank crisis in the horizon, the auto industry teetered on the brink of a total collapse, the economy could have gone into a recession and jobs across the board would have been lost. It didn’t happen because Congress and the President sat down, identified the problems, and worked out a fix that didn’t involve inflating the federal deficit to record proportions,” Senator Cantrell said in a recent interview. “Finally for the first time in years, we were able to significantly reduce the budget deficit by 50% from last year.”

*
Meanwhile, Beckworth took to the road to stoke the fire further and build up more grass roots support for the American Heartland Party. He also began planning for 2008. Beckworth recruited 264 candidates to run for the House and 46 for the Senate. The largest task though was finding a candidate to run for president. Three candidates stepped up: New Mexico Senator Ken Whitberry, former Senator Lincoln Chafee of Rhode Island, and Texas American Heartland Party co-ordinator Corrina Townsend. At the first ever American Heartland Party convention, Whitberry won on a dramatic final day that saw a debate with the three candidates before a final vote was taken. The last minute debate was Beckworth’s idea- a way to differentiate the American Heartland Party from the other two by actually having a convention with some intrigue and uncertainty to it.

*
Senator Whitberry won three states in the general election and finished a solid third place behind Barack Obama and John McCain.

*
At age 27, Will Beckworth has accomplished more than most politcos do in an entire career. Now he faces his biggest challenge. Can he build on the success of the American Heartland Party in 2008? Can the momentum of reform that DeWayne Cantrell and the 2006 compromise brought about continue to drive Congress? Can the American Heartland Party elect a president? Beckworth thinks he can within the next ten years. Time will tell if the country is ready for a non-Republican or Democrat in the White House.
———
Written by ‘Japanese Import’ Rick Shaw and Andrea Doria, this serial is the continuing saga of Buckland County and based on the characters chronicled in the books Loose Cannons of Buckland County and Loose Cannons and Other Weapons of Mass Political Destruction. Buckland County 2008 begins two years after the events at the end of Loose Cannons and Other Weapons of Mass Political Destruction with the premise that the American Heartland party emerged as a viable third party alternative in November 2006 to the other two political parties. As a result, the nation took a diametrically different path than the one taken in reality.

Buckland County 2008: Will and Trevor Discuss Barkley, Coleman, Franken, and Sarah Palin. Nick Meets Them at Hack's. Gina's Movie- Ready to Shoot

2008-12-14T04:29:00.000-08:00

Hack’s Rusty Nail Saloon

*
Will Beckworth and Buckland County Gazette Editor Trevor Jackson sit at the bar. Will is drinking a beer. Trevor sips a cappuccino.
*

Trevor: So. Tell me all about your trip to Alaska.

*
Will: We had a good time. Charlene Ann got to do some snowmobiling with Sarah Palin’s husband.

*
Trevor: I bet she enjoyed that.

*
Will: I think she surprised Todd Palin with how well she could handle a snowmobile. Um…let’s see. The Governor’s children took great care of Willie and Gracie while we talked.

*
Trevor: So, what’s your impression of her?

*
Will: Trev, I think she’s the real deal. I think she needs time, you know. She’s only been governor for two years and to be thrown into the wolf’s den and a national campaign?

*
Trevor: Do you think she’ll switch parties?

*
Will: Honestly? I wouldn’t bet the ranch on it. I told her we’d take her in a heartbeat…and we would. But I also said that the American Heartland Party would not promise her the 2012 nomination. The last thing I’d want her to do is make a snap decision she’ll regret.

*
Trevor: Saxby Chambliss is giving her a lot of credit for his win yesterday.

*
Will: That’s what I mean. She did the right thing in going down to Georgia to campaign for him. An act of good faith that should go a long way.

*
Trevor: So tell me about the Barkley-Coleman-Franken race. How the hell do you pull that one off?

*
Will: Thank DeWayne. He spent two solid weeks there campaigning for Barkley. We followed the same blueprint that Ventura did when he became governor. No one really gave us a shot. And we captured the vast majority of voters who made up their mind within the final week of the campaign.

Trevor: I was surprised that the difference between Coleman and Franken was only a hundred or so votes

Will: Hell, Trev. ISomething tells me if it was just Coleman vs. Franken, they’d still be counting the votes right now.

*
Katie the Waitress comes up to them. Katie’s wearing a Hack’s T-shirt that’s tied in a knot just above her belly button. The shirt accentuates her ample bust line.

*
Katie: Can I get you guys anything?

*
Will looks at his beer. It’s half full.
*

Will: Nah. I’m still nursing this.

*
Katie (to Trevor): How about you?
*

Trevor: I’m okay for now.
*

Voice: I’ll take a beer!

*
Katie’s eyes light up.

Katie: Well, well, well! Nick Shavings…

*
Katie leans over the bar to give him a good look.

*
Katie: …what brings you back to town?

Nick tries not to look at her cleavage.

*
Nick: That’s really good..I mean, I’m really good...really.

*
Katie grins and stands straight up.
*

Katie: What can I get you?

*
Nick: The usual.
*

Katie: Coming right up.
*

Katie reaches into the cooler and pulls out a Budweiser.
*

Trevor: So Nick, what’s going on?
*

Nick: Not much. I’m just hanging out here for a few days.

*
Will: Vacation?
*

Nick: Kind of. I’ll be moving back to town after the first of the year.
*

Trevor: But I thought you took a job in Chicago?
*

Nick: Well, I did and I didn’t. Mind if I sit down?
*

Trevor: Oh…no. Go ahead.
*

Nick pulls up a barstool next to Will.
*

Nick: No. I went back for six months with the proviso that it would be a trial run. The six months are about up and to be honest- I kind of miss this place.

*
Will: Whatcha going to do?
*

Nick: Well, this isn’t supposed to get out but…Shane Ghackerman’s leaving to take a job in Cleveland. So, Mickey called me and I expressed a definite interest in taking my old job back.
*

Will: Okay. What about you-know-who?
*

Nick: Gina? That’s why I came back. I wanted to talk to her about it.
*

Will: Why? You’re divorced.
*

Female voice: There you are.
*

Buckland County Gazette reporter Tessa Rogers walks up and puts her arm around Nick.
*

Tessa: Thought I might find you here.

*
Will: Oh. That’s why.
*

Nick: Yeee-ah.
*

Tessa: Did you hear the good news, Trevor? Nick’s moving back.
*

Trevor: I heard. So, how long have you two been going out?
*

Nick: Two months. Long story.
*

Nick catches a glimpse of Charlene Ann Beckworth coming out of her office.
*

Nick: Hold on a second. I’ll be right back.
*

Nick speedwalks over to Charlene Ann.
*

Nick: Charlene Ann!

*
She sees him and waits.
*

Nick: Hey, I wanted to talk to you. I checked out that film company and couldn’t find out a whole lot. So, I-ah…I contacted Shanna Ramsey and she’s checking it out.

Charlene Ann: What do you think?
*

Nick: It could be nothing. It could be something. This film outfit has never made a full length film before. It could be a start up company for all we know. So I gave it to someone with Shanna’s unique ability to dig out information.

The Tropicana Hotel- Nassau, Bahamas
Gina lounges on the bed inside her hotel room. She’s wearing a robe and reading the script for the movie.

*
A knock at the door.
*

Gina gets up and answers it. She cracks the door open.

*
Gina: Yes?

*
Bell Boy: Miss Ramsey. I was asked to give this to you.

*
He passes an envelope through the crack in the door.
*

Gina: Oh. Okay…

*
Curious, she inspects the envelope.
*

Gina: …thanks.
*

She opens the envelope. Gina pulls out a note.
*

Gina: From…the director. Gina. Hope the accommodations are satisfactory. Shooting for your scenes begins first thing…

*
Gina scrunches her face.
*

Gina:…at six in the morning…swell.

*
She sticks her tongue out. Gina places the letter on the end table and checks the clock. Eight fifteen. She walks out to the balcony and gazes at the technicolor sunset at the horizon. A flock of seagulls fly back. The palm trees gently sway back and forth.
*

Gina breathes in the warm breeze that ruffles her hair. She pushes a stray lock from her line of sight.

*
Gina: Well? It was nice while it lasted. Guess it’s time to go back to work.
———
Written by ‘Japanese Import’ Rick Shaw and Andrea Doria, this serial is the continuing saga of Buckland County and based on the characters chronicled in the books Loose Cannons of Buckland County and Loose Cannons and Other Weapons of Mass Political Destruction. Buckland County 2008 begins two years after the events at the end of Loose Cannons and Other Weapons of Mass Political Destruction with the premise that the American Heartland party emerged as a viable third party alternative in November 2006 to the other two political parties. As a result, the nation took a diametrically different path than the one taken in reality.